Does Everyone Deserve a Second Chance?

I Couldn’t Tell You.
Author: Victoria Munteanu Title: Reporter

Yesterday I went to Publix and stood in the hygiene aisle for a solid 10 minutes. That was the Publix he bought me a hairbrush from, the day we had our first—-my first ever—kiss. When my friend brought up a joke he used to make, I laughed and his name almost came out of my mouth. I do certain things because he taught me to, I think of how he would react in a thousand situations, and I constantly wonder what he thinks of me now. Yet, I think just because you take so much space in my mind doesn’t necessarily make you a candidate for a second chance.

              I do think that every good person has a past and every bad person has a future though. 

I think that the way I feel isn’t and shouldn’t be, the deciding factor on whether you’re a good person or not. I think what I want is irrelevant to what should happen in someone else’s life besides mine, actually sometimes mine too…(you know fate and all of that stuff).

Balancing your emotions and rationality is difficult most of the time. Whether you think it is or isn’t, it is. It’s difficult because differentiating one from another is almost impossible, but isn’t that a good thing? Feel what you feel and let it be till it isn’t I say. Make others think one thing about you and think differently but don’t tell them, allow others into your life and shut them out. Hold your morals to your standards and be who you want to be. Make yourself believe in yourself and find out what works for you in your carefully curated little head. 

Sometimes I wish people would have stayed when they didn’t—couldn’t. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t wasted my time on a situation I could have lived without. Most times I just wish people, including myself, were kinder. The only thing I can do is control my own actions, believe what I believe, and make my own decisions. Whether that disappoints a random man on the street or one of the most important people in my life, if it’s what I want, I have the right to do it. 

This being said I am still stuck in a sticky web with the question “why do people act like this” when someone’s putting themselves first hurts me, replaying in my head with the answer nowhere to be found. The answer is in my head, in front of me, in my eyes and ears and everything I eat, the answer is all around me and nowhere to be found all at once. The web keeps me longer than I expect every time I fall into it. I honestly don’t even know if I’ve ever gotten out. 

Doing what you want—in terms of how you treat people—will usually result in a specific cycle which crafts your character as a villain in Lucy’s life, and Lucy as villain in yours. For instance: 

You go to Lucy’s house, she likes you, you don’t like her. You break things off, she’s obviously hurt. You feel guilty and upset she’s so upset, she feels broken, upset that you don’t feel so broken. This cycle clones itself in every which way you can twist and turn it, and it works in every relationship, every interaction, and every thought you’ll have. Everywhere is filled with Lucy’s and you’s, second chances, and the need for peace. Sometimes the only solution is to be at peace with yourself while at war with the world. 

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